Rome, Circa lunchtime...

Brando balances the books






Thought of as one of Marlon Brando greatest plays Julius Caesar How can one forget the moment in which Mark Anthony holds aloft a Moleskine and claimed it to be the will of Caesar?... Dr Gerry Hattrick, Emeritus Professor of Symbolic Symbolism presents us with a rather different view: One in which soft paternalism turns ugly and a angry mob of papery planner take to the on-line catalogues; filling their carts with papery based products and causing mayhem at 12%. The horror! The horror!...



SCENE I. The Forum.

Enter DISCUS MAXIMUS and a throng of Citizens

Citizens

We will be satisfied; let us be satisfied.

The noble Discus is ascended: silence!

DISCUS MAXIMUS

Be patient till the last. planner, journalises, and lovers! hear me for my cause, and be silent. Discus loved Moleskinus like a brother. However Moleskinus with his fixed ways are not the ways of yours. Your pages shall remain free from the burden of a binding. I'm I not right? I pause for reply.

Citizens

Moleskinus' better parts Shall be crown'd in Discus.

DISCUS MAXIMUS

Then none have I offended. I have done no more to Moleskininus than you shall do to Discus. The question of his paper is written in gel pen, his glory not extenuated, wherein he was worthy, nor his offences enforced, for which he suffered tearing up.

Enter NOTEBOOKUS and others, with MOLESKINUS' rear pocket

Here comes the pocket, mourned by Notebookus: who, though he had no hand in his death, shall receive the benefit of his dying, a place in the commonwealth; as which of you shall not? With this I depart,--that, as I slew my best lover for the good of Organisaia, I have the same Acto-knife for myself, when it shall please my country to need my pages.

All

Live, Discus! live, live!

DISCUS MAXIMUS

My fellow planners,--

Second Citizen

Peace, silence! Discus speaks.

First Citizen

Stay, ho! and let us hear Notebookus

Third Citizen

Let him go up into the public chair; We'll hear him. Noble Notebookus, go up.

NOTEBOOKUS

For Discus' sake, I am beholding to you.

Goes into the pulpit

Fourth Citizen

What does he say of Discus?

First Citizen

He better not speak ill of Discus if he wishes to speak; For we are deaf to reasonable reasoning!

NOTEBOOKUS

Friends, planner, journalises, lend me your ears; I come not as the enemy of Discus rather as the friend of Moleskinus Moleskinus, the most noble of journals... But Discus says Moleskinus was ambitious;And Discus is an honourable journal. He hath brought many captives home Whose ransoms did the discrete coffers empty: When that the poor have cried, Molskinius paper hath disintegrated: Ambition should be made of sterner stuff: Yet Discus says Molskinius was ambitious; And Discus is an honourable journal. I speak not to disprove what Discus spoke, But here I am to speak what I do know. You all did love Moleskinius once, not without cause: What cause withholds you then, to mourn for him? O judgment! thou art fled to brutish beasts, And men have lost their reason. Bear with me; My heart is in the papery pile there with Moleskinius, And I must pause till it come back to me.

First Citizen

Methinks there is much reason in his reasonable reasoning's...

Second Citizen

If thou consider rightly of the matter, Moleskinius has had great wrong.

Third Citizen

Has he, master? Would that I could repeat it thrice I fear there will a worse come in his place.

NOTEBOOKUS

But yesterday the name of Moleskinius might Have stood against the world; now lies he there. coated in blood red ink. O masters, if I were disposed to stir Your hearts and minds to mutiny and rage, I should do Discus wrong, and Polyethenus wrong, Who, you all know, are honourable plastics: I will not do them wrong; I rather choose To wrong the dead, to wrong myself and you, Than I will wrong such honourable journals.But here's a lose page with the seal of Moleskinius; I found it in his closet, 'tis his catalogue: Let but the commons hear this testament-- Which, pardon me, I do not mean to read-- And they would go and buy a replacement just this minute.

Fourth Citizen

We'll hear the words: read it, Notebookus.

All

The catalogue, the catalogue! we will hear Moleskinius' words.

Fourth Citizen

Now mark him, he begins again to speak..

NOTEBOOKUS

Have patience, gentle friends, I must not read it; It is not meet you know how Moleskinius loved you. You are not wood, you are not stones, but men and women; And, being men and women, bearing the catalogue of Moleskinius, It will inflame you, it will make you mad: 'Tis good you know not that you are his heirs; For, if you should, O, what would come of it!

Fourth Citizen

Read the catalogue; we'll hear it, Notebookus; You shall read us the catalogue and we shall shop like never before.

NOTEBOOKUS

Will you be patient? will you stay awhile? I have o'ershot myself to tell you of it: I fear I wrong the honourable journals Whose Acto knives have ripp'd and Moleskinius; I do fear it.

All

The catalogue! the paper pr0n!

NOTEBOOKUS holds aloft the catalogue of Moleskinius

First Citizen

O piteous spectacle!

Exeunt Citizens solemnly carrying the torn pocket

Next week: If you have tears, prepare to shed them now.... The Forum go shopping.

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Shakespeare wept

Or he would have if he read that.

Right, then.

Hi.

All honor to the classical form, but you obviously have too much time on your hands. :)

shris

Stop him before he types again!

You, my friend, have FAR too much time on your hands...

Bravo!

Reese
====================
I never finish anyth

Oh my.....

This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. Brava!

Ah, that's what they told Shakespeare.

Hey, it's still head and shoulders above Gladiator:P

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com