Don't Forget To Mcglockinate

McglockinateGreetings all, Steve here again. I need everyone's help this week. I had a dream the other day, which was really inspiring. Wait, that's not the word I'm looking for...confusing! The dream was confusing. My father is always telling me that your dreams hold the answers to life's questions. The problem is, your dreams can be fairly weird. At least, mine are. And this is how I came to wonder, "What the Hell is 'Mcglockinate'?"

Here's how it happened: I was having a dream and at some point in the dream, I came across my friend, oh, I'll call her Sandy. As I say, I saw Sandy and I said, "Hey Selena, what's happening?" Selena, oh damn it! Anyway, Selena replied, "Well, I have this big project to finish, but I'm afraid this miniature drawf [at which point she held up a miniature dwarf, like the kind people put on their front lawns, for emphasis] is going to Mcglockinate me."

At this point I woke up and thought, as I stated perviously, "What in the Hell is Mcglockinate?!" It was clearly serious and clearly had to do with productivity, making it a vaguely appropriate subject with this website. Anyway, I contacted the real-life Selena, but she was unable to offer a clear explanation. I told her that if she was going to make a further appearance in my dreams that she should be nice enough to use perfectly straight-forward English. I thought about it for a second and then added that if she was going to appear in my dreams again, she should bring Jessica Alba with her. But I was still no closer to figuring out what Mcglockinate means.

I did some brain-storming, which with me is always terrifying, and although I wasn't sure what Mcglockinate was, it was obvious that it was very dramatic. With this in mind, I though of a few different dramatic scenarios and tried to determine whether Mcglockinate would fit, for example:

A group of serious people sit around a board-room table looking at various pie-charts and graphs in silence. Presently, one of them stands up and says,

"Ladies and gentlemen of the board, as you can see, the unthinkable has happened: The entire market has Mcglockinated!" Stifled cries, moans and soft weeping heard. He continues brightly: "I know, I know. I just bought stock."

Or, Mcglockinate could mean something romantic. I sat down and tried to pen a love song using the word. I'm not saying it's A material, but I think there's a certain romance to it.

[To a raunchy Spanish Samba beat]
"Oh BABY, I Want to McGLOCKinate you ALL NIGHT!
I don't even Care if it's Wrong or if it's RIGHT!
People think my Neck-Tie is TOO TIGHT!"

Well, maybe not. It's also possible, as the real-life Selena suggested, that Mcglockinate is a real old-fashioned Gaelic word that I heard once, long ago, but don't consciously remember, possibly in a former life. I see it as something like this: Two Scottsmen, Hammish O'Flannigan and Hammish O'Murphy, mid-12th Century, give or take, sitting around, in their kilts, on the moor, in the fog, eating Haggis.

Hammish 1 says to Hammish 2:

"Hammish. Do ya 'ate bein' a hurtful, culturally inaccurate stereotype?"

Hammish 2 responds:

"Aye, I doo! But not as much as this Haggis! Ach! I think I'm a goona Mcglockinate!"

Hammish 1 nods stoically. Hammish 2 adds by way of explanation:


Hammish 1 nods stoically again.

"I hate medieval Scotland."

Hammish 2 concurs:

"Aye. Let's invent golf."

Well, there you go. Mcglockinate could mean almost anything and this is the best I can do. Really. I sat down and really thought about it and this is the best I can do. Clearly I need help, both mentally and with language.

So what do you think folks? I've seen this group come up with helpful suggestions for everything from planning your executive meeting strategy to how to pack a suit without wrinkling, so I know you guys are up for a pointless challenge. I know that you guys will have some ideas and they can't be any sillier than mine, so share them with all of us! Until next time, keep your pen on the page and don't forget to Mcglockinate!

Steve Sharam

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The real Mcglockinate

Mcglockinate is the act of discovering or creating a new word or phrase, usually through a dream involving a gnome or dwarf.

Selena was obviously worried that the gnome, appearing in what she must have assumed was her dream, would tell her a new word or phrase. She would then be forced to spend hours attempting to decipher the meaning of the word and it's relevance to her project. She dreaded the hours of pointless brainstorming and googling. She would then have to push the completion of the big project back until she could post the entire episode to her blog. Then she would sit impatiently rechecking both her email and blog until the blogosphere could produce the answer and finally let her finish the project.

cruss hcity net

Hmm, maybe

Hmm, I'm sensing that you may have a point here. Actually, in that case, Selena invaded my dream in order to put the Mcglockination responsibility on to me. Geez, you think you know someone.

Any other ideas?

Steve Sharam

Freudian Slip?...

According to Tacitus, Mcglockinate was a pagan festival celebrating the birth and rebirth of Mcglock, the son a Celtic haggis wrangler and Germanic looking Rhine maiden. McGlock if you remember was the god of laughter and to forsake his festival would bring grumpiness on one's tribe for at least a year....

Now turning to Lacan, who was obviously far wiser man than me as he understood what Freud was trying to say like no other. Hmm, actually I think Lacan was a bit of a smarty pants intellectual so let us turn to Jung instead. ;) The Dwarf represents a shadow or repressed self. Something in your personality you must confront before you can enjoy a satisfying relationship with one's own psyche or as Jung liked to call it Die Seele.

We often see parts of our shadow in others before we recognise it in ourselves. (Hmmm, that sounds familiar) Selena obviously represents your feminine side. The fact she uses McGlockinate as a verb instead of a noun suggests a Freudian slip and all this means... O my goodness Nooooo! Please tell us you did not finance your studies though becoming a human guinea pig and scientist (possibly wearing lab coats) somehow cloned you. :O

Wow, that depth

Hmm, very thorough Sardonius. Weird, but thorough:P Hmm, I don't recall being cloned, but that hardly seems like the sort of thing someone would tell me. Perhaps Freud is the right way to go: Is it possible after all that I've always secretly desired Selena's dwarf?
Can anyone hlelp us out?

Steve Sharam

It's all about the gnome

That miniature dwarf is a gnome, and that is the real danger. Many years ago I was at Disney's Epcot Center with two guys (one of whom became my husband). They were behaving themselves very well until they saw these carved wooden gnomes in one of the shops. They went nuts. Somehow they started trading gnome jokes, which were mostly puns. Loudly. And giggling. Suddenly, everything in the store became a source of absolute amusement. My son (who is now six) has never embarrassed me in a store as much as these two grown men did. And when I've mentioned this tale to other guys, they say that have had the same reaction to the Disney gnomes (I'm not being sexist, just reporting what I've observed -- It may have had something to do with dragging the men through too many gift shops).

So, my guess is that Mcglockinate has something to do with a person losing perspective or any form of rational thinking at an inappropriate time. Like, say, the time I got the giggles at a meeting when my boss started stretching the truth about what our piece of junk hardware could do. I Mcglockinated him. (BTW, that is also a way to get out of a lot of meetings).

And you married this guy?:S

Goodness me, that is a good way to get out of a meeting. Probably the reason more meeting aren't held at DisneyWorld:P

Well if that's what Mcglockinate means, I guess the whole world Mcglockinates sometimes:P

I can't say as I've ever found gnomes terribly funny, but then I've never been to DisneyWorld, so my life experience has been tragically lacking:P

Steve Sharam

He's French you know

According to the ever wonderful Google, McGlock is a blogger from France: Link.

Sacre Moo!

I didn't expect that at all. S'il vous plait, will the real McGlock please step forward and explain his name?!

Steve Sharam


From what I can deduce from his posts, he's a rapper and/or MC and does write English reasonably well enough that he could actually speak it too.

"It's better to be a pirate than to join the Navy." -- Steve Jobs

Send him our way

If anybody knows him, tell him we're having an animated discussion about him:)

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi

Steve Sharam

To McGlockinate

I wonder if perhaps you might have overheard some gangsta rap before bed time. Selena's fear and the term Glock, referring to the firearm company, the Mc prefix being either MC or a concern on your part about the irish civil strife. The miniature dwarf, a double reduction, that you are anxious to reduce the violence of our ever more violent world, you are in fact channeling Bono from U2.

To McGlockinate is to increase violence, Selena is your voice to decrease violence. If she were serious about her quest to end world violence, she would pose in a bikini with Jessica Alba and give copies to everyone who promised to be nice.

I didn't think of that

Ha ha, Selena will be so pleased. I didn't realize that that was part of Bono's program. In any event it should be. Nothing gets attention like gratuitous bikinis:P

It's possible it might work. Crazier things have been done. I'm 100% behind Selena In A Bikini For Peace, but we may have trouble convincing her that it's a good idea:P

Steve Sharam


Sometimes a dwarf is just a dwarf...........unless he starts speaking backwards whilst dancing........then you are the new David Lynch. Any chance Selena was the log lady???

Hmm, could be

Well, maybe, hard to say. She's never mentioned being the Log Lady, but that's the sort of thing you might keep under your hat. I don't remember the dwarf being especially dynamic, but it was a dream after all. I'll ask Selena. Perhaps she holds the answers to our questions. She makes a great 4-layer dip, so she's not without helpful knowledge after all:)

Steve Sharam

Twenty years from now...

My 6-year-old was driving me nuts when I was trying to get out the door in the morning. Naturally, I told him “Don't mcglokinate me.”
He said, “OK” and stopped bouncing off the walls. I thought that he might really know the meaning of the word. Sadly, a moment latter he walked into the living room and asked “What is mcglokinate?” So the meaning is still a bit of a mystery.

Driving home tonight, a woman in a high-priced car was tailgating me. I looked in the review mirror and told her not to mcglokinate me. I fear mcglokinate is becoming part of my vocabulary.

In collage we had a professor named Dr. Gailhouse. On of my classmates had trouble deriving an equation on a test. He knew he needed a factor of a half, but couldn't figure out how to get it. So he wrote that he was multiplying by the “Gailhouse constant.” He didn't get a lot marked off :-) After that, for the rest of our time at collage, the “Gailhouse constant” became defined as “multiply by zero and add whatever you need.” Now, over twenty years later (how did that happen), I still have reason to use the “Gailhouse constant” in my job.

I wonder if mcglokinate will still be in my vocabulary in twenty years? Thanks Steve (I think).

Thanks, I needed that:)

Lisa, thank you, I really needed that. It's nice to know that I'm making a difference. Actually, it's absolutely hilarious that your son thought he knew what it meant:D Perhaps it is a when all else fails, throw it in where you need to word.
btw, I understand what your friend did. I once passed a question on an exam that I had no idea about by writing down a monologue from the movie Armageddon. The prof said it was very well researched. To this day I have a warm spot for that movie:P

Steve Sharam

Armageddon has all the answers

I'm dying to know... in what context does the movie "Armageddon" have all the answers, much less well researched ones!?

Ooooh, I remember doing that too..

on a geography test in college. When faced with an essay question I knew nothing about I wrote "I did not study for this question but I did study for other questions including x. Here is the answer to x. And proceded to write a long essay that got an "A." Sometimes you can get an A for effort.


i just read this thread, purely by chance, and have found the true defintion of Mcglockinate.!! stand back..

"McGlockinate; to be dismissive and/or derogative of another's interest at slighty more intellectual humour." i told my wife about the funny bits of this thread, and she looked at me blankley then totally mcglockinated me...cowbag...words and meanings and context can be funny!!

ps i thought that the first comment was the best.. selena stiched you up man in fact ironically she may have been Mcglockinating you without you even knowing.

come to think of it maybe mcglockinate IS just a word you can use when all else fails..that is how i will use it.

see you laters mcglockinaters