Happy Towel Day!
Greetings all, Steve here again, wishing you all a happy Towel Day! Towel Day is a day when you carry around a towel all day to commemorate the late, great Douglas Adams, author of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. For you out-of-touch cretins who don't know about the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, in his seminal work Douglas Adams explained, along with many other things, the great importance of always having your towel with you.
Carrying around a towel all day to commemorate a prematurely dead author who was obsessed with towels may seem a little strange, but only if you're unfamiliar with the many incredible uses a towel has and the powerful contributions Adams made in the field of Towelology. This phenomenon can best be described in Adams own words:
A towel...is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.
Well, that about says it. Not only does Towel Day preserve Douglas Adams memory, it reminds us to always have a towel around for practical purposes. Everyone at the meeting will be very impressed. Anyone have any other suggestions about practical or aesthetic uses for a towel or how we could celebrate Towel Day?
Until next time, keep your pen on the page and always keep your towel with you.