The Ultimate Smurfer

I have a completely awesome hole puncher at home. It beats the carp out of my portable Rolla/Circa punch. Why? Because...

* It's heavy, so when it sits on my desk, it stays put.

* It will punch through 25 sheets of regular copy paper at a time.

* There are 7 (I think) places where you can attach the puncher things, so you can punch 2 holes in the center of your pages or 3 in standard configuration or something else entirely.

* It has a sliding centering ruler with little guides, so I just put whatever size paper I want in there, move the guides to snuggle the paper, and ta-da! -- the holes are centered perfectly on the paper. I don't have to make little marks or measure anything on my own.

Why don't "they" sell a smurf-maker like that? They could call it "The Ultimate Smurfer" and then not only would it be the best DIY Rolla/Circa punch on the planet, it would also have the best name. They could paint it purple, which is my favorite color, and which would alleviate confusion regarding the little blue cartoon characters. :-)

Is anyone else interested in a product like this? Do you think we could trick/bribe/convince some manufacturer to make these for us?

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Desk punch


The desk punches are as close as you're likely to get. It weighs 4 pounds, so it doesn't move. It can punch up to 12 holes, each evenly spaced. It has a sliding guide that shows standard paper sizes like 11" and A4.

There's not an automatic centering slider because the most efficient use of discs is sometimes NOT to center one of them. This is true when the centered disc arrangement would result in discs too close to the edges of the paper.

As far as measuring anything, well, you only need to measure if you're punching odd paper (not standard letter or A4 on the long edge). Then, you only need to find the right spot once, mark it, and then you know where to set your slider forever.


They do, but...

It costs like $900
"I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin and Hobbes/Bill Waterson)

Aw... you beat me to the...

... ahem... punch. ;-)


But why?

My kick-butt desktop hole puncher cost $40. I could see spending up to maybe $150 for a smurfer like this.

DIY or purchased?

So, did you make this awesome smurfer or buy it somewhere? Pics and details, please. We gotta know!

I never finish anyth

Alas...'s not a smurfer. It makes the old skool 1/4" holes for 3-ring binders.

I need to find a machinist with some spare time on his/her hands who will trade machining skills for chocolate chip cookies! Then, perhaps, my grand dream of The Ultimate Smurfer will become reality!

when you get it made...

I want one!


Hi Janine.

The more smurfs you punch, the more pressure you have to apply to the paper--it's like walking on snow in spike heels or walking on snow in snowshoes. In order to get *through* the snow in the snowshoes, you have to be heavier/press harder.

Also, the more paper you punch, the harder you have to press to get the punch to go all the way through.

Combine those two factors, and a desktop punch that does 11 or 12 holes on a tall stack repetitively costs you some large bills. Add to it that the fancy punch they're talking about will also insert discs for you (I think), thus binding your presentation all with a turn of the mechanically-advantaged crank.

The desktop punch that weighs 4 pounds costs about $60, but you can get it for less if you look harder. It will do about 7 or 8 sheets of regular paper at a time, but you have to stand up and put your weight on it, and maybe jump a little to get it to go. It's a leverage thing.


There it is - the $750ish Ultimate Smurfer

the PBS 2000 Rollabind Desk Top Punching System.

Time to start saving my pennies!

Is it a sign of DIY-overload if I make the Rollabind PBS 2000 my desktop wallpaper? cell phone picture? avatar in the various online forums I frequent? :-)

I understand the leverage thing!

My awesome 3-hole punch has a swing-over lever that takes a serious amount of weight to go through more than maybe 10 sheets of paper. That's why I've been eating so much candy. Gotta build up mass so that I can be an Olympic Smurfer! ;-)


:roflmao: now that should be an olympic sport!

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Which should?

Smurfing, or eating candy? :-)