Bringing Us All Together

Email Chain Letter
Hey, Steve here. I was ruminating on ideas for today's post and I ran one past Doug Johnston, our resident medieval longbow archery expert, and he said that I might offend all of our readers from Mongolia. This seemed unlikely to me, partly because I don't know for a fact that we have any readers in Mongolia, but Douglas is a cautious fellow, which is a very good quality in someone who practices medieval longbow archery, let me just say. I told Doug that he was being silly and then he reminded me that I've offended people in the past on this site. No I haven't, I thought. That's silly.

Well, o.k., I might have offended a few people, but not that many. I sat down and made a list. Over the past two plus years of writing for this site, I've offended the religious right, the liberal left, Italian people, French people, Irish people, American people, people from Finland, people from Norway, people from Sweden, probably people from Mongolia, Chinese-Canadian Irish celebrants, sellers, shoppers, tech support workers, young people, old people, my mother, my father, my girlfriend, Innowen, Sascha Chow, Dr. Seuss fans, perverts, organized people, disorganized people, women, men and gay female video game enthusiasts. And Doug. O.k., so I've offended a few people! Well then, how about something to bring us all together again, something we can all relate to?

Don't you just hate those email chain letters, those chain letters disguised as pleasant messages? Chain letters used to be simply of the "Send this to ten people and you'll win the lottery" variety, but now someone has decided that they should take otherwise nice, friendly messages and tack a chain letter onto them. Not only are any sort of chain letters annoying, but now they've ruined the nice thoughts people are sending to me. I hate that!

Basically, all you do is take a nice message, sometimes a new thought and sometimes something traditional, like a poem or a prayer, and then turn it into a chain letter. It looks something like this:

  • May there always be work for your hands to do, May your purse always hold a coin or two, and if you don't send this to 10 people in the next 5 minutes, may your crotch become infested with the fleas of 11 desert camels.
  • I sent this to you, 'cause I think you're great. Send this to everyone you think is great, including the person who sent it to you. If I don't receive this back, I'll know you hate me and never talk to you again.
  • I sent you this angel [picture of angel who looks like she's on her way to a Spring Break party] for good luck. If you don't forward this to everyone in your address book, may you be ambushed by hooligans.
  • I sent you these two guardian angels [picture of two guardian angels] to give you good luck. If you forward this to 37 people in the next 143 seconds, you'll have good luck tomorrow at 9:15 a.m. If not, you'll be indicted.

The worst thing about these chain emails is that they ruin the nice thoughts my friends were sending to me. Don't ya just hate that? Doesn't anyone ever just forward dirty jokes anymore?

Alright until next time, keep your pen on the page or your nasal hair will come alive and strangle you.

Steve Sharam

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as always

as always i love it!!

Levenger stole ALL of my money, but they left me all these nice, shiny organizational tools.

If you don't forward some

If you don't forward some dirty jokes to me within the next 224 hours, some Jehova's Witnessess will ring your doorbell. At 8 a.m. Every Saturday for the REST OF YOUR LIFE!


That is sooooo what I needed when i got home from work, thanks:P Pyramidiology: What you get when you mix pyramids and idiots.

Steve Sharam


Now you've gone and insulted the Jehovah's!

No one is supposed to throw any rocks...

until we say so, even if they do say "Jehovah".

Nii !
"I think the surest sign that there is intelligent life out there in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us." (Calvin and Hobbes/Bill Waterson)

He said it again!!

Stone him!!!!

PS: Always look on the bright side of life :)

Gotta love Brian

Oh, yeah.

Brian got me through some very hard times and I'm always better off when I look at the bright side of life:)

Steve Sharam

You're cute.

I have expressly told my family not to forward anything to me unless they wrote it themselves or it's actually important. No chain letters, no pictures of kittens (I love kittens, just not in my inbox), no jokes (unless they're really awesome ones). Thankfully they've obeyed my wishes. (Mostly.)

It seems like everyone goes through the forwarding phase when they first get email, and they proceed to annoy everyone they know with forwards. (The only people not annoyed, of course, are those who just got on the internet too.)

What really bugs me is when people forward stuff to email lists. Argh. No, I saw that "Boycott gasoline day" email ten years ago, thanks, and it's still stupid...

Sorry, didn't mean to rant. But, Steve, look at it this way: at least I'm not ranting at you. :)

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Education secrets

If only I were able to educate my friends on the same thing. I keep receiving my personal nemesis: cheesy power point presentations with music and a poem with landscape pictures. Even though I have mentioned my friends that I do not open any attachments I had not requested, to keep my computer virus free, they keep sending those. Ughhh.


yes, there is that;) I work retail, so I get quite enough of that during the day, thanks:)

Steve Sharam

for the record

as an angry black lesbian gamer with a passion for all things cute and violent cute things (as in anime), you have NEVER even come close to offending me.

Levenger stole ALL of my money, but they left me all these nice, shiny organizational tools.

Not sure what to say about that...

Obviously, I'm not trying hard enough if I haven't offended a huge demographic like that:P

Steve Sharam

true we are not the biggest

demographic but we still count darn it! :)
Levenger stole ALL of my money, but they left me all these nice, shiny organizational tools.

A thought.

You know, it amazes me how little we all know each other, given our shared passions for paper and other goodies. Basically all I know about my fellow DIYers is that half of them are Christian ministers. *laugh* We do have a lot of those around here...

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pet peeve

I'd like to bring up one of my pet peeves about email. I'm a Christian, and several of my friends of Christians. Sometimes I'll get one of these emails with a great inspirational messages with an attached sentence that goes something like this:

"If you really love Jesus, please forward this message to everyone in your address book, including the person who sent you this. Jesus said 'If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you.'"

I hate this! Trying to guilt trip me into annoying my friends. No thanks. I'm pretty sure part of "Love your neighbor as yourself" is "Thou shalt not spam your friends." These messages get deleted right away.



I can certainly see how that would bother you. Guilt trips of any kind suck.

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Ha ha ha haaaa!

Oh no, that's terrible. I've never received one of those, but I believe it. People who try to manipulate others into irritating their friends...gaaah! Drives me crazy!

Every time you don't forward this message, baby Jesus cries.


Steve Sharam

I'll tell you one thing that

I'll tell you one thing that annoys me when I get those Christian-themed emails. It's when people send them to me knowing I'm Jewish. (Though it's interesting to find out that Jewish grandmothers haven't completely cornered the market on guilt trips.)


I suppose that makes Baby J. cry twice, then. ;-)


Thanks, I needed that:P My Jewish friend tells me that his mother has set a record, delivering 3 successful guilt trips at one time. It must be The Swartz.

Steve Sharam

Well, you're all missing

Well, you're all missing out. I can't tell you how many free Applebees gift certificates I've received! (...probably because I never have! But anyway...)

I work for a non-profit that places seniors (55+) into other non-profits in the county to do volunteer work. Obviously we have a lot of "new to the Internet" folks and with that comes a few that just insist on sending us the above mentioned forwards. I had to reply the other day with a, "Thanks so much for thinking of us, but could I ask you to please take us off your list." I don't want that crap in my inbox...especially at work.

Ya'll probably know about Snopes but in case you don't It's a great way to reply with a link that says, "The forward you sent me is fiction/false/stupid/ dumb*ss." Well, okay, maybe not in those words...

- Jen

Now we're talkin'

Hey, that's good to know. Thanks for sharing. Any other ideas, rants or lucrative movie deals anybody want to send my way?;)

Steve Sharam

Snopes rocks!

I do exactly this - especially if it's an OLD urban legend or what-have-you that I got a copy of years ago.

Got to do my part and educate the ignorant!

add to spam filters

At a previous job, my boss told me he had an aunt who insisted on forwarding every joke and picture she liked to him and everyone else on her address book. My boss told her that he would appreciate if she didn't forward things like that to him. After repeated warnings, he added her email address to his list of messages marked as SPAM, and he had things set up to automatically delete SPAM.

Apparently she never sent him any really messages, because she never complained that he didn't reply to a message. I've never had anyone this bad about forwarding stuff, but I have had people that come close.



All of your posts have provided laughs. Thanks! :)

- Jen

Aw, tanks:)

*humble bow*

Steve Sharam

I snerked out loud. Would

I snerked out loud. Would that be called SOL?

*ponders this for a moment*

Huh, maybe not. ;-)

Thanks for the late night laugh from this NaNoWriMo participant.

~~Moleskines and a pint of room temperature Guinness are my drugs of choice.~~

It might catch on

we'll have to see:P

Steve Sharam's official, you've's official, you've now offended me.

I love camels and I'm offended that you think they have fleas! /sarcasm

Seriously though, that was hilarious. My tea went from my mouth to my monitor in .04 seconds.


Glad to help:D

Steve Sharam