He's Back!


That’s right, the wanderer has returned! Some of you may be wondering: where have I been? What have I been doing? Actually, I’ve been heavily involved in a number of projects. I investigated a number of web-based money-making opportunities which utilized all of my multi-media and artistic skills. But porn doesn't have dental.

For a while, I was working on an idea for an invention. Actually, it’s an improvement on an existing product, the GPS.

The GPS, or global positioning system, uses state of the art technology to interface a unit in your vehicle with an advanced global satellite network so that, at the touch of a button, you can receive helpful updates instantly:

“Satelite reception lost. Please try again later.”

Clearly the system has problems, so I set out to improve it. My version is called the Existential GPS. A normal GPS tells you where to go, like this:

”Turn left in 50 meters on Pine Street.”

My new Existential GPS does more. Rather than simply telling you where to go, it asks you whether you are going to the right place, like so:

”Are you going in the right direction in your life?

"Are you making the sort of progress you should be?"

"Turn left in 50 meters, if you feel it's worth it.”

"Are you as lost as you appear to be?"

"There is no exit."

Surprisingly I was unable to secure development funding for the Existential GPS. So many people have no imagination. :(

I moved on to a screenplay project I’ve been playing with for a while. It’s an everyman sort of story, a hero’s journey. It’s about an average man who is given a new shot at life when he receives bionic nipples. The idea came to me in a flash one day, right out of the blue, if you can believe it. It's best not to argue with where such things come from, but just to work with them when they do.

I haven’t worked out all the plot details yet, but I think that perhaps they’ll be able to transmit radio waves. Hmm... maybe I can work the Existential GPS into the script. Product placement never hurts.

But now I’m back and writing once again for DIYPlanner! Yea! I know, the excitement overwhelms you.

Until next time, keep your pen on the page, and your life on the right path.

Steve Sharam
For more of my cogitations on life, check out my newly re-minted blog www.whenrealityknocks.com

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