Who Is Jaymi Elford?


Greetings all. Well, I'm back. We had some troubles a few weeks ago and I had to take a hiatus from this site, but I'm back again and raring to go. There have been a few changes on this site since I was last here. Doug Johnston, with a 20 month old son, a brand new baby and moving to the Yukon, for some reason felt overwhelmed and brought Jaymi Elford on board to help with editing and organizational duties and we've all been seeing a lot of her lately on this site, but the question remains: who is Jaymi Elford?

Jaymi Elford is multi-talented and eccentric, esoteric and contemplative, but to really understand her, you have to understand her background. So, after exhaustive and brain-wrenching research, I present The Unofficial Biography Of Jaymi Elford:

  • At an early age, Jaymi overcame a crippling fear of radial tires and later served 5 years in the French Foreign Legion as a fashion consultant.
  • She is descended from an Irish immigrant and a shallow West-coast yuppie and is proud of her colorful heritage. She speaks English at work, Gaelic at home and something that sounds like Mandarin Chinese when she's been drinking whiskey out of the bottle for more than 2 days.
  • In high school, she was known as "everybody's friend, nobody's lover" and was voted Most Likely To Foment An Unsuccessful Revolution In A Small African Country.
  • Due to the captain of the football team, she still has a tattoo on her butt that says The Tao Of Dwayne.
  • At the age of 23, she spent an entire year in contemplative silence, not because she trying to come to a better understanding of her own consciousness, but because she was really, really mad at her boyfriend. He didn't know what he did. She didn't tell him.
  • Although she works in many different media, Jaymi chose to work primarily in print rather than in film. She describes film as being a lot like books, only louder.
  • She is not confined to the traditional definition of marriage, but she is opposed to "really screwed up people reproducing".
  • She is convinced that dyslexia is a government plot to control California.
  • She's waging an underground but vigorous campaign to have Alexander the Great's name's name officially changed in the history books to 'Alexander The Really Really Terrific." She respects his accomplishments, but just doesn't think conquering Asia Minor would have been that difficult.
  • Her favourite book is Zen And The Art Of Electro-Shock Therapy.
  • She's an expert at Tarot, but refuses to use The King or The Fool in her tarot readings, as they're just too glam rock for her.
  • Although not strictly a religious person, per se, she is deeply spiritual and refers to herself as a lapsed sun worshipper, which is a fancy way of saying she likes the rain.

Well, that's the full story on Jaymi Elford. I hope that this has helped to engender a sense of community and common purpose, or, ya know, whatever, on this site. Yeah. Till next time, keep your pen on the page and eccentricities justified.

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

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Which Witch is Which?...

Welcome back Steve, I am glad to see you are on form and the Viking spared you from Rista Blodörn. Reading this I can see you really have done your research. I am quite impressed young man. I would just like to add that in the spirit of community and common purpose inno has agreed to wear a false beard and stand on a box while giving out orders. Trust me, the transformation is that incredible we have started calling her Doug two... :P

Sounds about right

Yeah, that sounds about right. Except for the different ethnicity, being from different coasts, different habits, lifestyles, attitudes and genders, they're almost completely alike. It's creepy, actually...

"It is unwise to be too sure of one's own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err."
Mahatma Gandhi

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

now that's funny...

now that's funny...