The D*I*Y Planner Work Excuses Template

Laziness
Greetings all, Steve here. Ya know, I think Eric Clapton said it best: "Given the choice between accomplishing something and just lying around, I'd rather lie around. No contest." Amen Eric, I couldn't agree more. In fact, I've been thinking about this problem for a while, though not too hard, of course, and I think this is an area in which D*I*Y Planner can make a contribution. With that in mind, I propose the D*I*Y Planner Work Excuses Template:

See, the problem as I see it is that it's difficult to come up with an excuse as to why you're not working on the spot and so we need two things: 1) A quick and easy reference sheet of believable excuses and 2) A way to look at it that makes it looks like you're doing work. Well, that sounds like a D*I*Y Planner template to me!

What you do is write down a number of excuses, sub-divided by situation, and then place it in your D*I*Y Planner. When the boss comes along and asks why your work isn't getting done, you simply grab your planner and flip to the excuses template and use one that seems appropriate. The beauty of this is that you'll never be caught without an excuse and it'll look like you're working when you're flipping through your planner retrieving an excuse. Neat, huh?!:)

Now, of course, the only remaining thing we need is some good excuses and, once again, D*I*Y Planner's got ya covered. I present here several example excuses, but feel free to adapt them or invent your own. Creativity's what it's all about people, so here're my suggestions to counter the question Why aren't you getting any work done?

  • Sorry boss, we're having a hardware problem.
  • Sorry boss, we're having a software problem.
  • I'm sorry, but I'm not going to answer that on the grounds that may incriminate myself.
  • My religion requires that I practice deep meditative relaxation between 11:30 and 4 the third Wednesday of every month.
  • I'm upset about my wife leaving me.
  • I'm upset about your wife leaving me.
  • I got sidetracked with a sexual fantasy about the new girl in accounting. Can you blame me?
  • Manchester United lost. I expect I'll be inconsolable for the rest of the week.
  • My underwear's too tight.
  • I need a vacation.
  • My job is a dark swirling void of meaningless tasks and useless jerks. I want chocholate.

Of course, these are only suggestions. If you have any ideas, feel free to share them with the class. Until next time, keep your pen on the page and your excuses close to hand.

Steve Sharam
To read my thoughts on international understanding and all that junk, check out www.whenrealityknocks.com

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Sorry for the late reply, I was looking for my contact lens...

Here is a small selection of the excuses I hear/use:

  • "I am thinking" - Lawyers and philosophers only.

  • "I suffer from performance anxiety; I cannot work while you are watching me".

  • "I really, REALLY like you". "Would you like to be my special friend?" To be spoken in the 'Peter Lorre' vernacular.

  • "I am not making excuses, only...".

Now that's funny

I'm gonna use the performance anxiety one this week. That's brilliant. I think it might actually work:)

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

pwnd

Sard,

you realize that using these excuses doesn't get you out of writing me a second article. now get to it mister. ;)

/innowen

Allergy

Sorry, I'm allergic to the internet.

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

i am having vision

i am having vision problems.... I just don't see myself coming in today!!

Excellent

Well done Matt. I'm impressed by the energy people are putting in to not doing anything. I feel like i've really made a difference this week...

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com

spelling

fifth word in third paragraph: you have misspelled the word "write" as "right".

Aaaaah

Write. Thanks Kevin:)

Steve Sharam
www.whenrealityknocks.com