Doing Incredibly Silly Things For No Reason At All

Doing Incredibly Silly Things For No Reason At All
Greetings all, Steve here to make your weekend a little weirder. Ya know, I realize I'm sort of the Odd Man Out on this site. I have a really different approach than the majority. I see my work on as being sort of an antidote to all the hyper organization that goes on here. Certainly there's nothing wrong with being organized – lord knows, I could use more of it myself – but I still think that it's important sometimes to break out and just be silly. In this world of insurmountable problems and increasing tension, just occasionally attacking some totally pointless task has a certain cathartic effect. That's why today's topic is: Doing Incredibly Silly Things For No Reason.

But before we get to that, I have an apology to make on behalf of the team. There have been a few comments recently on the site that, because of our overactive, super-duper, white blood cell, Arnold-Schwarzenegger-going-to-find-his-daughter-style spam filters, were wrongly marked as spam. We try to catch all of them, but sometimes we miss one. I tried to comment on one of these recently and it said that the comment didn’t exist. My heartfelt apologies if this caused anyone existential angst or precipitated or worsened a personal crisis of purpose.

Coming Soon: DIY Planner, The Movie!

DIY Planner The Movie
Greetings all, Steve here again, with some very exciting news. They’ve decided to make into a movie. Really! It’s looks quite exciting. I’ve just seen a working copy of the script, which came directly from the Studio Committee Of Intelligent People Making Stupid Decisions In Groups About Movies. You’ve seen their work before. Still, I’m optimistic, as it seems like a good idea.

Now, of course, websites don’t automatically translate well to film. For one thing, films tend to be much louder than websites and to contain more gratuitous nudity. Well, more than this website anyway.

But there will be no nudity in this movie. They’ve decided to adapt into a Spy movie. As I understand it, it’s a World War II drama about a bunch of code breakers working on enemy signals by organizing all their decoding work in their planners which they have, wait for it… done themselves. It’s a Do It Yourself spy movie. That’s what it is. Do it yourself spying. DIY Spy.

Europe Is Inefficient

Europe Is Inefficient
Greetings all, Steve here again. So, I'm learning Italian. It's hard, ya know? I mean, it's a really tough language. I bought an Italian dictionary and, I mean, wow! You just wouldn't believe how many words the Italian language has. And several years ago I attempted to learn German and that was a very difficult language, with many words. And several years before that I learned French and that was also an extremely hard language to master. I was thinking about this problem the other day when it occurred to me: All European languages are tough! And then something else occurred to me: If all European languages are really tough, then probably nobody in Europe knows what anybody else is saying. And, ya know, that must be really inefficient!

Happy Towel Day!

Douglas Adams - Towel Day
Greetings all, Steve here again, wishing you all a happy Towel Day! Towel Day is a day when you carry around a towel all day to commemorate the late, great Douglas Adams, author of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy. For you out-of-touch cretins who don't know about the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, in his seminal work Douglas Adams explained, along with many other things, the great importance of always having your towel with you.

Carrying around a towel all day to commemorate a prematurely dead author who was obsessed with towels may seem a little strange, but only if you're unfamiliar with the many incredible uses a towel has and the powerful contributions Adams made in the field of Towelology. This phenomenon can best be described in Adams own words:

Rome, Circa lunchtime...

Brando balances the books

Thought of as one of Marlon Brando greatest plays Julius Caesar How can one forget the moment in which Mark Anthony holds aloft a Moleskine and claimed it to be the will of Caesar?... Dr Gerry Hattrick, Emeritus Professor of Symbolic Symbolism presents us with a rather different view: One in which soft paternalism turns ugly and a angry mob of papery planner take to the on-line catalogues; filling their carts with papery based products and causing mayhem at 12%. The horror! The horror!...

Cattle-Based Planning

Cattle-Based Planning
Greetings all, Steve here, back again. Ya know, we live in a world beset by problems. Environmental degradation. Cultural animosity. Inefficient planning techniques. It really gets to a person after a while. So I was thinking about how I could make some small contribution to improve things myself and I had an idea. I think we all use recycled paper for our planners, but eco-friendly transportation is an issue as well. I was chatting with Innowen about those really nice leather-bound Epica journals and we were trying to figure out whether there was a way to make one at home, DIY-style. I suggested taking some paper and folding a sheep around it.

Inno gently suggested that this perhaps not my best idea and that’s when I had an intuition, a mental flash, an idea that could solve two on-going problems…and possibly even change the world: Cattle-Based Planning.

The Connection Of Douglas J.

Prospecting For Gold
Greetings gentle reader, Steve here. This week finds me recounting a tale of horror and survival, as one Douglas J. was stranded in the high Arctic without a functional computer. As I thought about how to retell the tale, I thought of a story of a similar conundrum, a tale of tragedy and insanity in the far North. Read what follows, gentle reader, and think of poor Douglas J. the next time you switch on your internet connection.

Don't Forget To Mcglockinate

McglockinateGreetings all, Steve here again. I need everyone's help this week. I had a dream the other day, which was really inspiring. Wait, that's not the word I'm looking for...confusing! The dream was confusing. My father is always telling me that your dreams hold the answers to life's questions. The problem is, your dreams can be fairly weird. At least, mine are. And this is how I came to wonder, "What the Hell is 'Mcglockinate'?"

Here's how it happened: I was having a dream and at some point in the dream, I came across my friend, oh, I'll call her Sandy. As I say, I saw Sandy and I said, "Hey Selena, what's happening?" Selena, oh damn it! Anyway, Selena replied, "Well, I have this big project to finish, but I'm afraid this miniature drawf [at which point she held up a miniature dwarf, like the kind people put on their front lawns, for emphasis] is going to Mcglockinate me."

Signs That You Need A Vacation

Signs You Need A Vacation
Greetings all. If you're like me, you may be insane. That is to say, after slogging through work all Winter, your nerves may have become extremely frayed and as a consequence you may have lost your mind. Don't feel bad, it happens to everyone. I've also lost several important pieces of paper, so there's sort of a motif going here. With me I think it was the total lack of sunlight for months at a time. At this time of year, many people feel that they're in need of a vacation, but aren't sure if they may have a small amount of sanity left they can yet work through. Here's a checklist to help you determine whether you've lost your mind and should go on vacation.